This July, my husband and I will have been married for four years. When people ask us how long we’ve been married and we tell them, they give us a “wow, it’s already been that long?” look. We are officially out of the newlywed stage. The question about when we are going to start a family rolls in from just about everywhere. Especially because my husband is a pastor, we have a large audience, and one that is eager to see us “be fruitful and multiply.” However, as I think about my relationship with my husband, I know that we have come a long way, and still have a long way to go in terms of developing it and seasoning it to be its best. I believe that this will take a lifetime. It’s a good thing I am head over heels for him.
In honor of National Recommitment Month, I think it’s a good time to make a new promise to yourself and to your spouse. Vow, once again, that you will make your marriage a priority in your day to day life. A priority over work. Over chores. Over your extended family. Your marriage, your spouse, should be your top priority. If you have kids, you may be shaking your head at your screen-but what about our children? Without a strong and committed marriage relationship, your kids will not prosper. They will not learn the importance of a successful family relationship. Our kids are always watching us and learning from us. Shouldn’t we set a good example? With or without an audience, it is important to be devoted to one another. Here are a few tips I’ve learned about being committed to your marriage relationship from watching my parents develop theirs, and being in one with my husband:
Put Your Spouse’s Needs First:I think a lot of times we get involved in romantic relationships because we believe it will fulfill our needs. We get excited because we will have someone to take care of us. If we go into the relationship believing that it is for our own good, it will not be successful. Recommit yourself to your marriage by thinking of your spouse first, considering his needs before yours, and striving to meet them. Before you talk about your day, offer to listen to him about his. If both of you put one another first, you will be a better team.
Redefine Date Night: Learn to enjoy one another’s hobbies. Have fun, but don’t forget to set some time to discussing important household issues such as discussing your financial budget for each month. Your date should be about getting away from your normal routine, spending quality time together, and addressing issues that you normally don’t have time to talk about. You can read about unique date night ideas here.
Spend Time Apart: We all need our alone time! Don’t underestimate the importance of some solo down time, time out with girlfriends, or pursuing interests such as attending monthly book club meetings. When you spend time apart, time together is enriched with conversation about your individual experiences, discoveries, etc..
It’s always good to assess your relationship with your spouse. Now is a good a time as any, especially because May celebrates Recommitment. Maintaining a healthy relationship takes hard work. Now, go ahead. Step away from the computer. Evaluate, work hard, love with all your heart, repeat!