Review of Baby Proof by Emily Giffin

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Last week, I reviewed Emily Giffin’s Heart of the Matter, and decided that I should finally read two of her books which I had never read — Baby Proof and Love the One You’re With. Baby Proof is about a woman named Claudia, who has never wanted children. This was a problem in many of her relationships until she meets Ben, a guy who also doesn’t want to raise a family. They fall in love, get married, and then he goes back on his promise and decides he does want a baby. He decides he wants a baby more than he wants to be married to Claudia, and Claudia decides she doesn’t want a baby more than she wants to be married to Ben.

I won’t give away the rest of the story, but the book definitely hit home for me, as one reason that I wanted to get divorced was that I didn’t want to have a child with my ex-husband. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want children, but came to the realization that I didn’t want him as the father for my kids. Not that he isn’t a great guy, and wouldn’t be a terrific father. I think it was too much commitment for me to make with him. As Giffin writes, “the biggest decision a woman can make in life is not who to marry but who should be the father of her children. ‘You can’t undo it,’ she says.’ It bonds you for life.’”

As I am turning 39 on Sunday, and it looks as though having a child probably isn’t going to happen for me, it probably makes me think even more about my decision. Claudia often thinks of her ex-husband, and regrets getting divorced, even as she dates another man. I think it’s only natural to wonder what might have been and second guess a decision, even as huge a decision as getting a divorce. When we choose one path, we always wonder to what other paths may have led. I think over time, it’s easy to remember the good times, and easier to forget the bad times. I also think that a relationship that starts in high school or college is usually a more innocent love than what we find later in life. There is something about first love and young love that you just don’t find when you’re older. We get set in our ways, carry more baggage, and don’t love as freely or as fully as we do when we’re young. While I don’t regret my divorce, and know that I have grown and evolved so much by being on my own these last ten years, I do sometimes look back and wonder what might have been. I look back on that time of my life with nostalgia, and hope that my ex-husband is also in a better place now.

I found this to be a great book. If you are contemplating divorce, or have gone through a divorce, I think that you will find this especially poignant.

- Miss A

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