I wanted to share what I’m going through as I approach the big 4-0 next year. Some say 40 is the new 30, but no matter what number we put on it, forty marks a huge change in the life of a woman. Whether it’s actually at age 35 or 45, around age 40 our fertility is winding down and coming to an end. We can numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, shopping, or other addictions, but at some point we all experience this ticking clock. I figured I’d be married with a couple of kids at age 39, and never would have imagined I’d be profiled in the September issue of Vogue magazine instead. Would I trade the Vogue experience to be married with a family? Who knows. We are all blessed in unique ways, and we all bear our own private burdens. I commend some who choose adoption or artificial insemination to experience such an important part of life, that in the past meant having a significant other involved. We only live once, so we you come down to the wire, you have to make the decision which is best for you.
Along with the big decisions and soul searching, I think we also have to put more thought into the more trivial things. Back in the summer when I turned 18, I could throw on a potato sack with my long blonde hair and summer tan, and look incredible. At 40, not so much. First things first — tans look horrible, especially around age 40, and especially on blondes. Malibu Barbie doesn’t age well. When you think of gorgeous blondes in their late 30’s, and 40’s, notice they don’t tan. Think Cate Blanchett (41), Nicole Kidman (43), Uma Thurman (40), Gwyneth Paltrow (37). Nothing says “cougar” like a blonde over 40 with a tan. At that point, it really doesn’t even matter what you wear. It’s written all over your face. Just as my black friends should wear their color proudly, pale white women don’t need to pretend to be something we’re not. Just as “Black is Beautiful”, “White is Wonderful”, so wear your pale skin and freckles with pride, Ladies. No need to risk skin cancer and that oompa loompa orange color isn’t fooling anyone!
At age 35, I began editing my closet at the beginning of each season in a new way. I don’t just think about what fits, what I like, what’s in style, what suits my lifestyle, and what looks good on me. Since 35, I also assess whether an item is age appropriate. Ladies, remember that this isn’t about whether or not you still have the body to pull it off. There are lots of women in their 40’s and 50’s with amazing bodies, but that doesn’t mean that they have to show every bit of it. Even women in their 20’s should leave something to the imagination, but as you age, you need to leave more and more to the imagination. We also need to be more discerning about fabric. When we’re in our 20’s, we can throw on a cheap H&M dress, and look incredible, but as we age, cheap fabric stands out more. Less is more. Shop for quality pieces, which you will wear for several seasons. Invest in yourself. I believe that there are things we just should not wear past 35. Here’s my list, but feel free to comment below to add to it!
Excessive platform heels
Slutty Halloween Costumes
– Miss A