Should I move to FL to live with my son’s father? My son’s father and I just recently got back together for about a month now. We were broken up for about two years and decide that the best thing is for the both of us is to work it out. We have a 14 month old son together. My boyfriend is not able to move back to Texas to be with us, so we just recently talked about me and our child move to FL to live with him. I love him with all my heart, but is this a mistake?
Looking forward to seeing your answer,
Dear Lone Star,
The first thing that came to mind when reading your question is how this might affect the custody of your son. I would check with an attorney. I recall from my brief engagement to a native Texan that a child can not leave the State of Texas without the consent of the other parent. I would hate to see you move to Florida, and then get in a situation where you and the child can’t move back home to Texas if things don’t work out with the “Baby Daddy”. Also Florida is a debtor’s haven, and lots of criminals run to the state due to the loose laws there. If I’m not mistaken Florida is very weak on holding men responsible for child support. I would talk to an attorney, as I’d hate for the “Baby Daddy” to trick you into a move which may all be for his own legal benefit. Perhaps I’m jaded or cynical, but better safe than sorry. Remember you have a support network of friends and family in Texas, and are comfortable and confident there. I’d hate to see you move to Florida where you don’t know anyone, and are so dependent on this man. You have to watch out for your own best interest and that of your child.
Also, doing the math I see you and the “Baby Daddy” were broken up before you got pregnant with your son. It doesn’t sound like he was there for you during the pregnancy, and for the last two years, so I’m wondering why you would give him another chance. God has made us so that we forget the pain we’ve suffered over time. This is great, but it also allows men to creep back into our life and proclaim that they’ve “changed”. We remember the love we once shared and want to forgive. But you can’t forget the facts. It’s always good to journal and write down all the painful things that have happened, and how you’ve been hurt, so that you can take that paper out and remember in times of weakness. Also, from the way you wrote your question and asked if this move would be a “mistake”, I think deep down you know that while things may be good between you right now, history has taught you that you can not rely on this man. Try to remember how hurt you have been in the past. Surely, one good month doesn’t make up for two bad years.
Please talk with an attorney, and let me know what you plan to do. I wish you and your son the best!
– Miss A