Dear Miss A,
I just found out that my roommate (who is not my friend) has a crush on my boyfriend. She told a friend of mine she was after him. She is really thin and I am not, which makes me feel uncertain. When he comes over, she hangs around him and tries to get his attention every slutty way she can. He lives with three guys and his place is not the best to hang out. Do you have any advice for me?
Dear Dorm Dweller,
First of all, women have a sixth sense and we can definitely tell when another woman is flirting with our guy. So if you were getting this feeling, and now you have it confirmed through a friend, you have a problem on your hands. Since you brought up hanging out at your boyfriend’s place, it seems as if you know that this is probably something worth considering. You say it isn’t the “best place to hang out” because he’s got three roommates, but honestly it’s not like your place is a great option, either. I would choose the lesser of the two evils, and hang out at your boyfriend’s place. This will allow you space as a couple, and hopefully your roommate will find another guy to flirt with.
I wouldn’t bring up this situation to your boyfriend. Guys hate drama and your insecurities about your roommate will make you look weak. Just start suggesting his place, and making your dorm room unavailable to him. I would suggest getting started on planning for a new roommate for next semester.
You wrote, “She is really thin and I’m not, which makes me feel uncertain.” You may not be thin now, but you should never put yourself or allow others to put you in a box. You can be however you desire to be. When we feel insecurity or jealousy, it’s often because we see that someone has something we don’t. Instead of getting upset, or hating this person for having something you don’t have, take action! Work on these aspects of yourself. The great thing about life and the human spirit, is that we can always change and improve upon what we have. We don’t have to settle. I would recommend that you start a new exercise routine and diet. There are a ton of exercise options, and I’m sure there is one that you will grow to love. Often, you have to force yourself to go to the gym, or to walk, or go to a class, but after 4 weeks, you and your body will become addicted to it. As you become physically stronger, you’ll also become mentally and emotionally stronger. You will have more energy and confidence as you lose the weight and tone up. I’m not suggesting you get “stick skinny,” but you can always strive to be a better you, tone up.
I hope this helps! Stay in touch and let me know how things go!
– Miss A