Dating Mr. Friendly

Dear Miss A,

I am single and I’m dating two men that are such good guys. One of the men I’ve known for years, our parents know each other, but I always felt just a friendly relationship with him. The second guy I’ve known for two weeks but we click so well it feels like a lifetime. Not too long ago I was in a bad relationship so this is a gift to have two great guys in my life. No, I have not been physical with either one. I don’t know if I should have fun with this or should I just focus on the one guy. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Confused

Dear Confused,

I love that you know me well enough to add the “No, I have not been physical with either one.” Good girl!

As most of you ladies already know, your “guy friends” actually want to sleep with you. They really do. That’s why they are such great friends, and do so many things for you. We sometimes wonder why we aren’t attracted to them. We wish we were attracted to them, but we just aren’t. But we really really like them. And we really really like having them around to do things for us. They help us move. They help us get home safely. They set up our TV. They fix our computer. They help with the grill. They do guy stuff for us. They even give us insight into other guys we’re dating. And of course, we do things for them, too.

Well, every once in a while, one of these guys (let’s call him Mr. Friendly) pulls a Jedi Mind Trick on you, and next thing you know you’re dating him. We’ve all had this happen. We’ve all dated Mr. Friendly. We should have just kept him as a “guy friend”. I don’t know how Mr. Friendly does it, because our other guy friends never make it across the line. We don’t realize that we’re dating a good guy friend until just before we dump him. Or worse, when he dumps  us, and then we’re left wondering how the hell he just dumped us, when we should never have dated him in the first place. Mr. Friendly is a sneaky, slippery man. He hits us when we’re weak. Mr. Friendly is very into us, and we aren’t into him, but in a moment of weakness (often mixed with alcohol) we like being liked, we want to be wanted, we need to be needed, and we go with it.

Honey, you need to stop wasting your time with the guy with whom you ”always felt just a friendly relationship.” A friendly relationship is great, but stop wasting your time going on dates with this man, especially when you’ve ”clicked with” this other man. I get the feeling your parents are putting pressure on you to date the gentleman with whom you feel ”friendly”. Just blame it all on Miss A, Honey! Tell them, I told you to stop seeing him. I’m fine with that. I know you “don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but you can’t date both men forever. I know it will be hard to let your parents down, and to stop seeing Mr. Friendly, but you need to continue your clicking with the other guy, and move on to Mr. Passion and Mr. Right!

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

- Miss A