August 31st, 2009 
With all due respect and affection to my esteemed colleague and dear friend Guy Friday, he’s out of his head! I take serious issue with his claim that people who don’t like Lady Gaga don’t know enough about her. I read her Wikipedia page months ago.I still don’t like her. Do I find her music catchy? Yes. If it comes on when I’m at a party, will I dance? Sure. Is she getting a dime out of my pocket? Nope. Every time some oddball singer/dancer comes out, gyrating provocatively and getting frisky with the synthesizer, somebody tries to present me with this back story that explains that she’s totally original and interesting. Trouble is, I’ve heard this back story so often, it’s all starting to sound a bit like a required mythology. I’m not buying it.
Artist Myth #1: I am my alter-ego.
1. Lady Gaga’s real name is Stefani Germanotta. . . . Stefani at that point adopted the stage name Lady Gaga and now only responds to being addressed as either Lady Gaga or simply Gaga.You know what other uber-famous person insisted that people call her by an assumed name? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. No word on whether she still requires the usage of “John.” My guess is “No.” Even a toddler knows that fake names are so 2008.
Artist Myth #2: I have been talented since birth and I’m also well-trained. Lady Gaga is a classically trained pianist. Gaga began learning the piano at the age of 4 and by age 11 was set to attend the prestigious Julliard School in Manhattan, which only admits 149 pupils a year. Instead she chose to attend the private Catholic school Convent of the Sacred Heart and by age 17 she was given an early admission to NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts.
2.
A) Every musician has to learn pitch and rhythm somewhere.
B) That she was “set to attend” the Julliard school is impressive, sure, but Guy Friday appears to be wrong on some of the details. Based on her age, it would have been the Pre-College division. While the Pre-College Division does accept students from all around the world, they are required to live near NYC with a family member or guardian. Being one of 149 pupils (and I don’t think that figure is accurate for the Pre-College division) in a metropolitan area of 18 million is an accomplishment, but it doesn’t compare to being admitted to the college, where the applicant pool is international, adult, and therefore more mobile.
C) Tisch? And not Julliard? Tssssshh. No, in all seriousness, you know who else got into Tisch? Over 2,000 other people at the moment. She left. Art school adds value only if you stick it out.
D) It takes 10,000 hours to be an expert (see also Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers), but I don’t care if those hours come from birth or from your late teens. If you’re under 25 and you’re skilled, talented, and successful, yeah, you’re going to have started pretty early and had a pretty intense devotion to your studies. We’re a youth-obsessed culture. So this is just kind of more of the same.
(PS. I performed as a toddler as well. I specialized in “Splish Splash” and “Bad to the Bone.” I’ll give ten bucks to the first person to find it on YouTube. It would have been Kids Country Corner in Potterville, MI, sometime in the 1980s, probably 1987. Google says it’s in Charlotte, MI now. Subject to parental verification, of course.)
Artist Myth #3: I am creative and I call the shots.
Doesn’t mean what the artist is doing is any good.
3. Lady Gaga writes / co-writes her own music.
Artist Myth #4: [Insert factoid that does not affect how the purchasable product sounds but seems to be evidence of superiority.]
4. Lady Gaga does not lip-sync.
That’s great. But “Poker Face” is not exactly full of runs, and for the parts where she does need a wider range, she stands still. Let’s not get hyper because a singer sings.
Artist Myth #5: [Insert factoid indicating that the artist is stronger than comparable artists but which most people won't notice.]
5. Lady Gaga‘s vocals are not “back cut” with other artists’ vocals.
This, I actually respect, though I’d argue that since she uses a stage name and tries to present herself as an ensemble act (Haus of Gaga), it’s unnecessary. Maybe there’s an economic reason?
Artist Myth #6: I am not a Johnny Come Lately. It is right and just that I am famous and rich.
6. Lady Gaga has been around since 2005. . . . The music is acoustic and featured her voice in it’s raw, unaltered state. Another excellent example of her vocal talent can be heard on the song Wish You Were Here from this demo CD . . .
This would be more convincing if her raw voice wasn’t that of a nasally teenager. You can hear hints of it in the “Poker Face” Ellen video too, so I don’t think it’s something she’s outgrown.
Artist Myth #7: I’m better than [somebody nobody likes anyway].
Talk about damning with faint praise. Being more talented than Heidi Montag is not an accomplishment.
8. The International versions of Lady Gaga’s debut album have bonus tracks not available in the US.
Artist Myth #8: I have cred overseas, where people have better taste.
Yep, B-sides and international releases are often pretty cool. Who doesn’t? I’m an American. It affects my taste, sure. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Artist Myth #9: I am a total artist and creative person. See my right brain, and admire it.
9. Lady Gaga designs / co-designs her own wardrobe and stage designs.Lady Gaga is very involved in every aspect of her brand as an artist, which includes working with a creative team dubbed the Haus of Gaga. While the names of many of her creative people and designers are kept a close secret, Gaga is heavily involved in designing and planning her costumes, choreography, music videos, and stage sets. Like her music, her shows and appearance are a reflection of her as a creative entity.
Turn-off. Don’t confuse branding with art.
Artist Myth #10: You, too, can be just like me, if only you buy the right make-up, get better posture, and, like, totally believe in yourself. I’m not THAT hot.
10. Lady Gaga strives to challenge the contemporary standards of beauty. . . . Lady Gaga is an average woman. Upon close inspection one can see that her nose is large and prominent, her two front teeth are longer than the other teeth on either side, her bust is an average size, and her thighs are thick and muscular . . . .
Just because you’ve dissected her flaws does not mean that she isn’t, on the whole, a highly attractive and sexually desirable woman. She challenges nothing except dress codes and etiquette.
More:
And for those that comment about her affluent background consider this – Gaga left home at 18 to make her own money performing in cabaret shows and working odd jobs. It was important for her to make it on her own, without the financial aid of her parents. Gaga didn’t have to struggle as hard as she did, it was her choice to take the tough road to stardom. By making that choice she is now infused with a lot of character and maturity for someone all of 23-years-old. That is a lesson many of today’s spoiled youth could take to heart.
Leaving home at 18 doesn’t mean she can just give back the piano lessons or the private school education that she had up to that point. Plus, I’m sure leaving at 18 was just as much about rebellion than it was about wanting to make it on her own. I’m reminded of this song.
Turn-off. Don’t confuse cattiness with intelligent argument.
I am an avid reader of Guy Friday’s posts on AskMissA.com, and with all due respect, I did not enjoy this response to Guy Friday’s piece on Lady Gaga.
I am neither a Lady Gaga fan nor a supporter. However, I appreciated reading Guy Friday’s factoids about her and why he personally found her to be an interesting artist. I can only speak for myself, but I did not take his piece as a personal attack on my disinterest with Lady Gaga, as Critiquette seems to have.
Please don’t get me wrong. Critiquette is, of course, entitled to her dislike of Lady Gaga. I just wish she had actually put forth well-thought arguments to explain her dislike.
Instead, Critiquette’s “arguments” consisted simply of putting down Guy Friday’s opinions/factoids through back-handed, catty-sounding, and somewhat personal potshots.
For example, Guy Friday said he respected Lady Gaga for writing her own material. Critiquette responded by merely saying, “Doesn’t mean what the artist is doing is any good.” Nice potshot at Guy Friday by implying he likes an artist who writes shit. Just because YOU don’t like her music, it doesn’t mean it’s devoid of hard work, artistry, and/or creativity.
It was also nice of you to condescendingly tell him not to “confuse branding with art” without any further explanation. I hate to break it to you, but in some circles, branding IS considered art… especially when said “branding” includes choreography, costumes, and stage sets.
Bottom line = Hate and put-down Lady Gaga all you want, but don’t do it by putting down someone else’s love for the artist.
Hey Misa,
Thanks for reading. The point of the post was not to write an essay. It was, however, to be a smart-ass. If you really want an essay, I’ll be happy to provide one.
I agree with Misa. your response to the original article just sounds catty and makes you sound jealous. and the fact that you even responded to misa in a comment in a catty way… yikes. i’m also not a fan of gaga but i enjoyed the fun facts put forth last week. this officially marks the end of my patronage to this site.
You did NOT sound or come of catty in either the article or the response you made. God forbid if a woman sounds assured, let’s just assume she’s jealous or pissed. Really people..
Great article on LGaga and the whole Johnny-come-lately side of the music industry. It’s hard to know the real background, etc of all acts but you can even judge her on the merits of her music. No matter what background you come from, if you have listened to music for at least a decade and a half you start to get the feeling that you have heard ALL of her singles before. That they are a mishmash of other songs.
And no NOT in a way that every song can be called a mishmash. I mean in the way that stands out from other artists in its mimicry. I understand the need and desire to stick out in the music industry, and for that Lady Gaga gets points, but there is not much to her than a catchy beat. Which is fine.. but don’t tell me she’s an .
Wow. Are you jealous much? Gaga is talented and all you can do is bitch about it. Hmmm. and look, all you do all day is blog. maybe do something useful with your life besides being a bitch
mm a like the musik is fantastic is beatiful is perfect is life
:O is my life
i love you LADY GAGA !is especially
te amo lady gaga y aunqe casi ni se ingles eres la mejor !te esperamos en N.L.
Nice post! Just one question, is this linked to what Uraga was talking about on his blog?
it seems like time is proving you wrong.
She is very popular, but my will is strong!
Although I’m a fan of Lady Gaga, I admit I enjoyed reading this. You do make several good points, I mean every one anywhere has a story, artist or not. However, Lady Gaga is daring and I think her music is a reflection of her generation (I actually didn’t realize how young she is) and artists who have influenced her like Michael Jackson and Cyndi Lauper. Also, she puts a lot of focus on putting on a show which a lot of artists don’t really care to do. It’s evolved, theatrical pop music. Who knows, perhaps she’s simply a marketing genius but whatever it is about her, she creates things that most people love. Anyone can make a song with digital music applications but it takes talent to be successful in organizing the music in such a way that moves people, literally (I don’t like soulja boy crap though), and knowing that she controls almost all of the aspects in her career similar to how Michael Jackson did impresses me. Honestly, she’s no Alicia Keyes but it may be that she doesn’t prefer to go in that direction.
One more thing, how many artists come out wearing what they want to wear, performing how they want to perform and making music they created with minimal outside help? Don’t get me wrong, there are many underground/independent artists who do (I’m actually happy I’ve been seeing them receive more recognition these days), but how many have been as successful as her? I can probably go on and on about this but I’m sure you’ve heard it all by now.
To conclude, I wanted to give my two cents because I have some time to kill right now. Actually, knowing me, I’m probably missing the main point you were trying to make and I apologize in advance if I did but regardless “to each its own”. I liked reading your opinion on Lady Gaga, and although I love her and believe she’s one of the greatest artists that have surfaced in recent years, I just wanted to say, at least you stated your points intelligently and I personally believe some of them.
u suck lady ur a hater straight up
[...] The Lady Gaga effect on the glasses was cloned from here [...]
she is great !
I really adore Lady Gaga with her unusual dresses but she really let herself down this time going out in see through underwear.
Look, I realize that you were hard done by by various people. I cannot stand anyone- whether gay or straight!! Years ago, even before you were born, my life was stolen and I was lied to by everyone!! I do not trust anyone and I think I should receive over 1 billion dollars in punitive damages as a result (no joke!!))!! This is the most disgusting, inhumane cover up of all time!!I only have three weeks left to live and I will never ever forgive anyone for this if I die!!
Let me say this- you may be fascinated by gay rights- however, let’s put you in a situation like mine- they hack into your computer while invading your privacy and they broadcast you to exploit you to further their own selfish politics while you cannot right your music, you cannot right books, you cannot do anything!!
I’ll tell you- I’m furious!! I don’t normally care what your politics are- everyone screwed me!! That’s why I’m the SON OF SATAN if people want to know through their ignorance!!
Wow, I couldn’t even read all of this. I think she’s winning if you’re investing THIS much time into writing an article bashing her… You know you’ve really MADE IT when people start satirizing you.
Wow people really need to get a life if all you people do make fun of people for doing what they want to do with there lives.Yes Im a lady gaga fan and i love whats she is doing in surpporting gay right’s.
Get a life
Sweetie, I hate to bust your balloon, but Juilliard (of which I am a graduate) is not for pop musicians. It’s a classical music conservatory with a recently developed jazz division. It would have been pointless and ridiculous for Gaga to enroll there. You are right about her admission being to the pre-college division, it’s a Saturday kind of thing. But at NYU she probably (for as long as she was there) got a great academic education and was able to mesh with like-minded performers who shared her interests. Her videos are filled with smart — REALLY smart nods to literature and history. For example, one signature movement is peering through a circle formed by her thumb and forefinger. This is clearly an allusion to Picasso, whose early works almost always featured a voyeur’s eye in one corner of the canvas. She also has quite a flair for the visual. You’re entitled to your opinion, but you may be speaking out of ignorance. The gal’s only 23, and she’s quickly created a huge and original body of work without much help from anyone.
What would you do if someone or some people mistook your identity or tried to put you in a straight jacket? This is how I would respond in order to achieve my goals and objectives (that you cannot hide and keep secret from people)based on my knowledge of law and other abilities. This is a poem I wrote that describes what I am facing and also illustrates some of my talent:
TRICKLING UPON A ROCK:
FLOWING OVER THE BROOKS AND STREAMS,
TIME IS OF ESSENCE, IN THE HANDS OF TIME TO THIS TICKING CLOCK,
IN THE UNIVERSE POINTING TOWARDS THE SOURCE, OF GLISTENING OF GLIMMER, FOCUSING ON,
FLOWING FORWARD ENDLESSLY LIKE THE DAISY BLOOMING UPON THE PROTRUDING BEARING SURROUNDINGS,
JAGGED THE CHALLENGES,
AN ASTEROID FLIES TOWARD TO MOONS OF THE HEAVENS,
EVER DESCENDING AS WE SEE:
RELENTLESSLY …
IN THIS PROTRUDING MOMENT OF OUR DESIRES,
BENT TOWARDS TO INNER SPACE AND CONTOURS PORTRAYED,
LIKE A MOTION OF ENLIGHTENING FIRES,
HELD IN ITS CONSTANTS AND STAYED,
WE WORSHIP THE GODS AND GODDESSES IN THE HEARTS OF MOTIONS,
IN HOPES OF GLORIFICATION TO UNFOLDING REWARD,
IT IS THIS THAT BRINGS TO US OUR DEVOTION:
TO THE FRONT, THE BATTLE WITHIN, EVER MOVING TOWARD,
TO SEE THIS AND WITNESS BEARING THE ENDURANCE
IN THE DUST THAT WE ARE AND PARTICLES OF NOTHINGNESS,
HAVE FAITH, HAVE HOPE, TO YOU THERE IS REASSURANCE,
IN TRUST, IT SINGS TO US,
TO THE SONGS OF THE EVER INSPIRING ENFOLDING ENLIGHTENMENT,
LIKE THE HUMMING BIRD SINGS ITS TUNE, ITS VERY CHORD,
KEEPING TO MUCH NOT IN DESIRING, BEATING WINGS ON CHIMES IN THE WISP OF THE BLOWING WINDS ON A FRAGRANT DAY OF MISTY DUE ON A MORNING SUN’S RADIANCE,
LIKE THE LANDSCAPE AND ITS FJORDS,
A NOTE OF PRAISE,
A SCALING FORWARD, ASCENDING GRACE,
ALL SEE YOU TO THIS PLACE OF RELAYS,
AN HONOR HERE FOR EVERY RACE,
TAKE UP THE STAFF, TAKE UP THE TORCH,
IN HUMBLENESS, SHALL WE HAVE SUCH PRIDE IN THE MERITS OF THE HEART’S INTERNAL EMBERS,
LIKE A GIFT IN THE GLITTERING STARLIGHT: TWINKLING, FLOWING, AS GENTLE WAVES ON SHORES OF THE STRIKING INCENSE BROUGHT FORTH,
CARESSING, MELDING, RELEASING, TO THE SCENTS OF THE GROOMING CARE OF HEARTS OF COMPASSION:
COMFORTING AND BONDING,
ESCAPING, RELAXING,
FROM THE REALITIES OF DIS PLEASURES,
A WARMTH SHINES HERE, EVER HOLDING ON,
WHEN DESPAIR DESTROYS, WILTS THE FLOWERS OF THE FIELDS,
ONE EMBER, ONE STEM, SURVIVING,
NEW GROWTH OF HOPE APPEARS,
AMONG THE CINDERS, PROVIDING NEW DIRECTION,
THE ROSES ESCAPING DECADENCE, RISING TO BRING NEW DESIRES IN THE EVER ETERNAL BLOSSOMS, ESCAPING, DRIFTING, MEANDERING
ON FORWARD TO THE TASK OF THE BROOK IN ITS PATH OF SHAPING:
TRICKLING UPON A ROCK
Copyright- THE MACHINE
.
cool moves
xxxxxxxxxx
like how you do it
i love all your songs LADY GAGA
and i love you
your awesome
xxxxxx
Lady GooGoo does not perform music; you can’t hum or whistle any melody. She is really only trying to create a pop culture burlesque act…
lady gaga is bomb!! you just waisted your time…… i only found this by looking at her pics on google…. NOBODY cares what you have to say your opinion means nothing!!!!!!!
I think you are completely and utterly in the wrong with this post! Lady Gaga is extremely talented and makes her fans feel comfortable with her rather stylish outfits and songs which SHE has composed on the piano and written the lyrics for. How many stars can claim that they sing live at all of their concerts? Next to none, but Lady Gaga does. There has never been anyone like Lady Gaga. Vanity Fair magazine states that she has a better voice than Madonna. It is true. I cannot stand to hear someone bad mouthing her. This is a very offensive article. Please keep your opinions to yourself!
Not a fan of this artist, but well done for provoking such strong comments! The whole point of a ‘crit’.
Thank you, Sarah Billings, for an intelligent and clear reason why this article is so unsatisfying. It is ignorant. There also seems to be an underlying desire to find fault, anywhere, with Lady Gaga. For that reason it is overly and irrationally critical.