Should I Move In With My Boyfriend?

Dear Miss A,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and he recently brought up moving in together.

We started looking at places ‘casually’ even though we both knew we wouldn’t make any decision until July, as that’s when my rent is due for a renewal. He currently owns his own condo at a very desirable location. The condo is excellent for a bachelor, however it’s not ideal for a couple.

After further evaluation of our finances together, we concluded that it makes more sense for me to move into his condo for now, instead of purchasing a bigger place together right away. Last Friday he expressed his frustration of how tired he is of us commuting to each other’s place to spend the night, etc. He didn’t ask me directly to move in with him, however that was the insinuation.

I currently live in an awesome apartment that I share with an awesome roommate. There aren’t many of these apartments in the area I live in, neither are there too many ‘awesome’ roommates. Therefore, this is my dilemma: Lets say I give up my awesome apt and roommate and move in with my BF. But after a while things go south, then I would have to look for a place all over again. There would be little to zero chance that I would be able to move back to the same apt with the same roommate. I’m sure she would find a replacement roommate, and I would be stuck finding a less desirable place to live in.

I need your assistance to understand whether this is an excuse I’m manufacturing because I am afraid of taking the “next step”, or whether it’s a legitimate fear. Should I move in with my BF or should I stay put at my awesome pad with roommate?

Looking forward to your advice!

~Wondering

Dear Wondering,

As you mentioned, you might be manufacturing excuses out of fear. I think we’re all guilty of doing this at times. That said, you really don’t have to choose between having your current awesome living situation and moving to the “next step” with your boyfriend. I suggest you stay put, and if he really wants to take your relationship to the next level, he’ll propose. His getting tired of your “commuting to each other’s place” may be the motivation he needs. If you make things overly convenient for him, you take away some of the motivation for him.

I hope this helps! Please write back and keep me and my readers posted on what you decide.

- Miss A

Andrea Rodgers is a Dating & Relationship Expert for HealthCentral’s SexualHealthConnection.com. Email your questions to missa@askmissa.com or use our anonymous form.