Miss A Columnist

Mike Carson is an interactive media producer, artist, and writer located in the Washington, DC metro area. Mr Carson is the owner of Mike Carson Creative.

As Guy Friday, Mike dishes out advice, recommendations, and views — all with a twist of sass and a generous dose of bitchiness! Mike pulls no punches, spares no feelings, and isn't afraid to "go there" on any and all topics.

You can contact Mike at mcarson@mikecarsoncreative.com and follow him on Twitter @MikeInTheCity.

Single White Mama

I always enjoy it when a delightful news story such as the one I’m about to write on drops into my lap. With stories like this one it is easy to make commentary as the material practically writes itself.

article-1170348-0460c25f000005dc-786_468x863As many of you probably saw yesterday, The Daily Mail ran a story (which was picked up internationally) about 50-year-old Janet Cunliffe who spent £10,000 (about $20,000 USD) to look like her 28-year-old daughter Jane. You all remember that film “Single White Female” don’t you? The one where the woman gets a female roommate who then becomes obsessed with her and has herself made over so they look like identical twins. Well this right here is the mother and daughter edition!

I don’t know which is worse: that she had this work done deliberately to look like her daughter or that surgeons actually performed the operations necessary to create this Cougar of Frankenstein knowing her intentions. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for cosmetic surgery, especially to help you grow old more gracefully, but there are limits!! And speaking of limits where will this stop? You know she will have to continue to have procedures to keep up her new look. Before long she’ll be devouring fetuses to stay young like in that Chinese horror film “Dumplings“. For all her times under the knife, even Joan Rivers has enough stability of mind not to try to have herself surgically altered to look like her daughter Melissa.

What also gets me is that her daughter approves of what her mother did. In fact she is all happy that they can go out to clubs together, confuse their boyfriends, and are like sisters. Um, I don’t care how much surgery she has, the woman is still your MOTHER – you were in her womb not in the womb together! This just highlights one of the many problems in the modern parenting world; many parents want to be their child’s friend instead of their parent. You can be friends with your parents and vice versa, but at the end of the day you are still parent and child – not party buddies.

article-1170348-0460c26b000005dc-203_468x662The aspect that sickens me the most about this (aside from those rancid hair extensions they are both sporting) is the extravagance and frivolity of the whole thing. In a world where economies are crashing, children are starving, and families are being made homeless this woman is investing in her vanity. Even sadder is that over the course of time she will continue to spend more money in order to keep her new-found youth as most cosmetic procedures only last about 5 to 6 years before the signs of age begin to return.

Instead of spending so much time looking in the mirror, Janet Cunliffe needs to open her botoxed eyelids and take a good look at the world around her. While it’s her money to spend as she pleases, and she isn’t directly hurting anyone but herself, on some level she is a part of the global problem of selfishness that is running rampant in modern society. And what kind of example is she setting? That it’s OK to think only of yourself and invest in yourself to the point that you lose sight of others and what is important? If everyone in the world acted that way our entire social infrastructure would collapse.

Dolly Levi had the right idea with the philosophy that “money is like manure; it should be spread around encouraging young things to grow”. Unfortunately for Janet, the only thing that is going to be growing as a result of her investment are microbes that live off of acrylic, Ristalin, and delusion. Just think, when archaeologists dig up her bones in 1000 years, her hair extensions and implants will still look as young as the day they were put in. Now THAT is what I call timeless youth!

~ Guy Friday

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