Dear Miss A:
my relationship is great. i am so lucky to have found my boyfriend. we are compatible in so many ways and i absolutely adore him.
the one teensy little problem: there’s no chemistry in the bedroom. the longer we’re together, the less i want him to touch me that way. i like to hug and cuddle, but once things get sexual, i want to pull away. i know he’s not happy with things in that area and i don’t blame him. he doesn’t pressure me but he’s frustrated. the thing is, i have never been this way before. i’m usually a very sexual person.
why is it that i’ve finally found this amazing guy and the one thing i’ve never had a problem with suddenly is a problem? what do i do? everyone says that you stop having sex after a few years of marriage anyway. is sex so important?
Dear No Chemistry,
Honey, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but that problem is not a “teensy little” one. It’s actually huge! You are dating your best friend. You may be satisfied in this relationship now, but you won’t be forever. I mean, do you really want to spend your life with someone who repulses you to the point you pull away from him in bed? Most marriages are not sexless, and a sexless marriage is not something to which you should aspire.
This has got to be killing your boyfriend and his self-esteem. You both deserve a real relationship, which includes sex –great sex. You need to love your boyfriend enough to break up with him and allow him the opportunity to find someone who is truly attracted to him. You also deserve to be in a relationship with someone you want to pull toward you, rather than push away.
Good luck and keep me posted on how things go!
– Miss A