Love & Relationships

He’s Back! And They Always Come Back!

By Andrea Rodgers

04. Jan, 2009 1 Comment

 

Dear Miss A, 

What is your advice on going on a date with a man I had a crush on three years ago but have not seen since. He is not the settling down type and he travels all the time. We did have a great time and I loved talking to him. I have not been in a relationship for six month and I am feeling lonely. He approached me out of the blue, and wants to see me. I really want to see him. Am I setting myself up for disappointment if I do go out with him?
 
 Thanks,

 

Unsure

    

Dear Unsure,
 
Yes! There doesn’t seem to be any point to seeing this guy again, unless you’re looking for a brief fling. Many women say that they can handle hooking up, but emotionally we aren’t built like a man and aren’t happy with this type of casual sexual relationship. As much as we want to use our mind over our heart and logically think we should be ok with it, deep down we can’t handle it.

I think in your heart you know that this man’s lifestyle and mindset do not allow for a serious committed relationship. He probably just called because he’ll be in the area, and would like a female companion. What man wouldn’t want that? Don’t be that convenient woman who doesn’t expect anything, because all you’ll get is a bunch of nothing when it’s convenient for him. As much fun as it would be to see him, it won’t be fun when he leaves town and you don’t hear from him. I’m sure he’s very charming, but it’s not all about charm, Honey.

Don’t waste your time, and don’t get your hopes up. Best of luck!

  

- Miss A

 
 
 

 

Andrea Rodgers is a Dating & Relationship Expert for HealthCentral’s Sexual Health Connection. Email questions to missa@askmissa.com.

Love & Relationships

One Response to “He’s Back! And They Always Come Back!”

  1. Amber Ying 05. Jan, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Miss A, you gave exactly the right advice. Unsure is feeling alone and she shouldn’t see someone who doesn’t seem like he can respect her feelings! No one – man or woman – should be used for someone else’s convenience, especially when he or she is emotionally vulnerable.

    But I feel like you gave that advice based on incorrect reasoning. Both men and women have the emotional capacity, or not, to hook up. The idea that women aren’t happy with casual sex is an old one. I agree that sometimes casual sex is not a good idea – and this is definitely one of them – but it’s not because women can’t handle it (because I know plenty who do). It’s because of vulnerability after a recent breakup.

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