I’m dating a really great guy but I’m freaked out. I can’t believe that I am feeling so self-conscious–it’s as though I think I’m in a bad teen romance flick, and that there’s an audience somewhere covering their faces and groaning in embarrassment on my behalf. I hear the things that come out of my mouth, and then I hear the way they must sound and suddenly all my little habits or mannerisms or overused turns of phrase annoy even me.
Then there are all of the tiny little relationship mistakes I make . . . I’m starting to be afraid to talk at all, as I can’t seem to stop myself from being an over-eager cliche. What does this mean? Am I just meant to be single?
No, Honey, you are not meant to be single. None of us are. We’re meant to find a mate and procreate. You haven’t mentioned how your “tiny relationship mistakes”, habits, mannerisms or word choice is causing trouble in your relationship or bothering your boyfriend. It doesn’t sound like your relationship has a problem.
It seems like you are going through a rough time personally. You are hyper self-conscious, and second guessing your every action. This is not healthy. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you should feel comfortable being yourself. You want your boyfriend and friends to love you for who you really are. Don’t judge yourself by what others might think of what you say or do, especially in a private setting. Just be you. You are being too hard on yourself, and it’s not good for you to keep feeling this way. I think that you should see a professional for counseling and perhaps some anti-anxiety medicine.
– Miss A