Miss A Columnist

Andrea Rodgers is the Founder of Miss A (AskMissA.com), which covers the intersection of charity and lifestyle for 1.5 million unique readers annually. Based in Washington, DC, Miss A has a presence in 21 U.S. cities with 30 editors and hundreds of writer. Andrea was inspired after 9/11, and became heavily involved in Washington’s charity circuit in an effort to give back to the community. At the core of the Miss A brand is Andrea’s personal belief in the positive power of volunteering and charity — not only to benefit those less fortunate, but to improve the individual, business or brand that gives their time, money and energy to a cause. AskMissA.com serves as a technological platform which connects editors, writers and readers around this core belief and shines a spotlight on the best nonprofits, charity events, cause marketing campaigns and philanthropic & stylish people, businesses and brands to inspire others to get involved.

Andrea Rodgers is a member of the Vogue 100, a hand-selected group by Vogue magazine of 100 influential decision makers and opinion leaders across the country known for their distinctive taste in fashion & culture. She has been featured in Vogue, W and Allure, CNN, Fox News, NOS Dutch Public Broadcasting, TV Tokyo, France 24, Alhurra, USA Today, Washington Post & Politico.

Not A Gold Digger – Smarter!

Dear Miss A,

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I’m sensing that he doesn’t have as much money as he pretend to have. A couple of situations have come up that just don’t mesh with what he’s been telling me. How can I find out more about his finances without coming off like a “gold digger“?

Thank you so much for your question. Recently, I had a couple come in to see me about an engagement ring.  The woman thought the ring was going to be too expensive for her boyfriend to buy, so she walked out of the room so that in privacy he could tell me that he couldn’t quite afford it.  Instead, the guy said he was going to buy it but needed time to get money from an account.  He ended up calling me to put a deposit on it, but his credit cards wouldn’t work.  Eventually, he was able to manage to put a couple hundred dollars down until he got a check for us. Last week, I received a call from the girlfriend, the engagement ring shopping experience uncovered the financial difficulty that her boyfriend was hiding from her. He pretended to make more than she did, but turns out he was making half as much. It wasn’t his financial difficulty, but his dishonesty about it that subsequently led to her decision to break up with him.  They will not be getting married.

The point I’d like you to take away from this story is that you really do need to have a honest discussion about your financial situation BEFORE you decide to get married. It’s not being a “gold digger” – it’s protecting yourself from the male “gold digger”. I think it’s best when a couple has the same financial goals, and both behave responsibly where money is concerned. Be careful! People go to extensive means to conceal their financial difficulties from friends and those they are dating.  Sometimes the girl in the Milly dress has less money than the girl in a dress from H&M. And often the guy in the Gucci loafers is less responsible with his money than the guy in the Aldo shoes. 

I wish you the best!

– Miss A

 

Andrea Rodgers is a Dating & Relationship Expert for HealthCentral’s Sexual Health Connection. Email questions to missa@askmissa.com.

 

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